Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sex-worker drama The Client List returned last night for its second season. The show’s first season was marked by three things: One, it was extremely popular, regularly pulling in more than 2.5 million viewers. Two, it was weirdly unerotic, despite being about a woman who gives extremely tender, therapeutic hand jobs to paying clients. (That’s JLH, who plays Riley, a Texas woman who’s left with few employment options after her husband ditches her and their two young children.) And three, Riley sported some sometimes absurd clothing. She’s no Olivia Pope, that’s for sure. Journey with us through all of Riley’s cleavage-enhancing tops, ridiculous bra-and-panty getups, and button-down shirts that are very rarely buttoned.

Just a normal outfit for a child’s birthday party. Don’t hide your light under a bushel basket, Riley!

Even when she’s not working, Riley tends to wear garments that emphasize her chest.

Okay, fine, not here. But usualy
Business casual — appropriate even for sex work.

Nipped waist, neck detail — super-femme, Riley.

She’s squirting lotion into her hands because she’s about to give a hand job.

Those handy-jays support her family, though, so judge not lest ye etc, etc.

Black lingerie, a staple of Riley’s work attire.

Exhibit B: Light all those candles and make this a sensual massage to remember!

Ha, ha, ha, sex work is fun!

The woman likes a sundress. (PS, the massage parlor where she works is called the Rub. THE RUB.)

You won’t like her when she’s angry.

We’ll see the jacket-with-a-form-fitting-tank look over and over. Trust.

To the show’s credit, at least it acknowledges that perfectly flouncy hair takes some work.

Sure, that’s what any of us would wear to a school.

Whatever, button, don’t button, what are we, the shirt-buttoning police? We are not. Breathe easy!

“Howdy.”
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Drowsy.

Fair enough, love does hurt. Especially when “love” is your husband who’s left you high and dry.

There is nothing better-looking in this world than a classic trench coat. (Small deduction for shininess.)

But she earns points back for only wearing sexy-garbs underneath.

Here, Riley is dressed in costume as “a hand-job enthusiast.”

Girlie dress, part 12.
The rare home-y tee!
Purple lingerie and a very happy client. Look at that guy’s smile.
Sundress. Drink.
This pink smock is part of the uniform at the Rub, but Riley personalizes it by wearing different black slips underneath.
Keep those loose sleeves away from open flames, Riley! Haven’t you ever watched The Sopranos?
Go Longhorns.
Pick up dry cleaning — check. Display surprising amount of enthusiasm for “massages,” check …

Glasses, for when you want your hand-jobbers to seem smarter.